Medium Rare

Since celebrating somewhat of a milestone birthday recently, I’ve been reflecting on my dreams and plans for the future and inevitably, made to confront my areas of weakness and where there is significant need for improvement.

One such thing, being my inability to complete projects in a timely fashion. Or sometimes, at all.

I’ve realised that my natural skills lie in idea generation and conception; but that the execution and implementation of these ideas is usually compromised by my gradually depleting momentum and waning interest. I’m not sure if it’s truly boredom that gets in the way, or rather a fear of the work and possible failure that sits beneath the surface of my procrastination.

I usually find myself questioning why I started a particular project in the first place and whether the reason is strong enough to justify continuing to work on it. Most times, I conclude that I’ve just been lazy, disorganised and distracted; ergo, the desperate need for improvement in my daily habits and routine.

Inadvertently, as such ponderings have been floating about in my head, I have also, on a physical level, found myself craving a nice piece of steak cooked medium rare. Those closest to me will know that I never usually order it this way due to usual queasiness at any sight of pink in my meat, however steak well done has just become too dry and unappealing to me in recent times.

For my birthday, Dad bought some beautiful pieces of wagyu beef, exceptionally marinated and lovingly cooked for our family dinner. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. The juiciness, tenderness. That gorgeous wealth of mouth-watering flavour. My iron-deficient body and impatient tastebuds have been craving it ever since.

So now that I’ve come around to enjoying my steaks cooked medium rare, I realise that other general life things can also be great, though a little undercooked.

Since my high school days, I’ve always strived for perfection, for flawless completion, for results and outcomes so whole and unquestionable; perhaps believing that I can avoid criticism and warrant accolades. I recognise how both are rather futile and in the end meaningless pursuits. You know why? Because things done with heart, with purpose, passion and conviction – no matter if they’re finalised to perfection, still have worth and can still create impact.

It’s in the loving process of creation that determines success, success in the way of simply enjoying what we’re doing as we’re doing it. Success through being fulfilled by the work itself, not the outcome it produces.

As I enter this new chapter of my life, I cannot waste any more time waiting until things are made perfect or merely expecting them to be. There is only time to create imperfectly, to bring what we have into the world as best as we can right now; appreciating those who value our contributions and accepting those who do not.

Because our purpose in our careers and even our personal lives, should never be about ensuring a ‘well done’ from someone else, but making sure that what we are doing right now, though imperfect or unfinished, is done with passion and courage. That’s how we’ll know it’s done well.

2 comments on “Medium Rare

  1. EM says:

    Seeing certain aspects of life as “undercooked” – an analogy I’ve never come across, yet makes so much sense. That last paragraph is definitely going to stay with me! Such a great read.

    1. Eira Joy says:

      Thank you for reading and for the kind feedback!

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